Alcoholics and the Blame Game
Blame is a word that ends up getting thrown around a lot within the context of addiction, especially addiction to drugs and alcohol; it’s a concept that gets thrown around even more, and the truth is that the supposed “blame game” and an addiction to drugs or alcohol can go well together.
But why? What is it that means alcoholics shift the blame around to everyone else that does not include them – and what can be done about it? If you’re an alcoholic yourself on the journey to recovery, examining why you’ve been shifting blame to others is an essential part of your recovery.
Alcoholics and the Blame Game: Why?
Here’s what you should know about what people refer to as “the blame game” and how to counter it.
The Truth About Blame
If you want to learn how to identify emotions and what to do with them from there, the first thing you should do is to realize the difference between what emotions are useful and which ones are not. Emotions that are not useful in social contexts is usually irrational fear – and irrational blame.
Irrational blame is any kind of blame that the person has to think far too much about or rationalize. Irrational blame is the kind of blame that says, “It was their fault.” when you might already know that it was yours.
The blame game happens when alcoholics can’t cope with their own responsibility in the situation: They imagine that they could never be responsible for what’s going on around them (and reaching a point where you are no longer willing to play the blame game is an essential step towards recovery).
How do you spot this?
If you’re always blaming someone else for your behavior or choices, then you might be the problem. If other people keeping asking why you are blaming them, then you might be actively participating in the blame game without even realizing it yourself.
Blame can be a serious business. Being able to recognize the blame game when it happens might be the very first step to recovery.
How can you bounce back?
If you have been guilty of the blame game, one of the first and most important steps to recovery you can possibly take is learning how to see consequences: Cause and effect. Have you been blaming too many people for behavior that was yours? The blame game can be a good excuse for any addict who wants to indulge their own bad behavior: Inevitably it just leads to more hurt, and it leads to distracting yourself from your ability to heal.
Most alcoholics and addicts end up making use of the blame game in order to allow their addictions to survive for one more day: Don’t fall into this trap. Learn to recognize the blame game when you see it and decide to stop being a participant. The truth is that sometimes there is nobody else to blame but yourself: Realizing this and moving on can be one of the best things an addict ever does, and it’s an important step in learning responsibility.
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